Alone with parents – disadvantage or advantage?


Parents have to fulfill many roles and may not feel able to dedicate themselves to raising more children. Should their choice be a disadvantage or an advantage for the child?


Until recently, a family with two or more children was not surprising. By choice, by necessity, couples brought more children into the world. Some mothers gave up work and took care of the children, at least until they became independent. Nowadays, things are different. Women choose to become mothers later and end up raising only one child. Couples tend to be less stable and have less support from extended family. The only child has both advantages and disadvantages.

The advantages of being a child without siblings

A single child with parents has its advantages, even if it has a reputation for being selfish and capricious. If he receives a good education, he will grow up in a healthy way.

Get more attention

The child must not share his parents with his siblings. Therefore, parents can fulfill their role better. The special attention that is given to him almost constantly gives him a sense of increased trust in his parents and a higher self-esteem.

He has a faster intellectual development

As they interact more with adults, especially in the early years, the only child is expected to develop faster mentally and linguistically than children who have siblings.

He has several hobbies

Loneliness also has another positive facet. In the absence of siblings, the only child gets to know himself better and become more independent. It is not unusual for them to have a greater interest in reading, painting and other activities that they can do on their own.

It is more organized

Most of those who were only children become organized and responsible adults. Because they do not live with other children, they will adopt the style of order and work that their parents have. They complete their tasks and always try to keep things organized.

He is a small adult

According to the observations of the doctor Toni Falbo from the University of Texas, only children spend a lot of time with adults. This makes them become comfortable with older people and behave more maturely at a young age.

He tends to see adults and even his own parents as equals. In fact, they see even the elderly as people they can easily relate to. This can cause them to be harder on themselves. They want to be independent and achieve great things at a young age. They have more confidence in him at school because they understand the teachers’ expectations and become leaders among children of their age.

Did you know that…

… the number of Romanian women who give birth to their first child after 35 years has doubled in the last 30 years, according to a study by the National Institute of Statistics.

Disadvantages of the only child

Although one child allows parents to satisfy more needs and pleasures, the youngest has some disadvantages.

Bypass teamwork

The only child encounters difficulties when he is put in the situation of working in a team. He is used to organizing things in his own way and making decisions individually. However, he makes an effort to fit in and be part of the group.

He has fewer friends

He is very selective with his friends and prefers to have a few friends with whom he has very close relationships. In fact, he creates a bond with those friends similar to the one he would like to have with a brother or sister.

It matures too quickly

It would not be a negative aspect to mature quickly, but in doing so, it also loses spontaneity, the joy of having typical childish activities. It’s as if he no longer allows himself to be a child and becomes rigid.

Read also Vacation with children. These tips can save your vacation!

It is less generous

For an only child, it is common for people to take care of their problems or listen to them. It is difficult for him to share what he has and not only from a material point of view. He risks becoming less generous and emotional, he internalizes his emotions and has difficulty opening up to others.

He becomes more withdrawn

He may trust his parents more than a child who has siblings, but this will never replace the complicity and closeness he might have with a sibling. That is why he can become distant, reserved. They may also be unable to resolve conflicts with others. In his case, it is important for parents to understand that they must encourage him to interact more often with children or young people of the same age, to give up overprotection or excessive control over him.