Getting your child to do chores around the house can become a battle that affects both of you and drives you further apart. If you keep telling him what he should do, he becomes stubborn and doesn’t comply, which forces you to end the battle. Replace nagging with the following tips and end the fight between you forever!
The idea that children should do housework out of duty or responsibility sounds good on paper, but has little practical application in a child’s life. It is simply a strategy that does not work. The reason why children don’t like doing chores is the same reason why adults don’t either: household tasks are generally boring. Most children are not mature enough to understand that if they complete their chores, they will be rewarded and return to their favorite activities. Instead, procrastinate to avoid 20 or 30 minutes of what is relatively easy work.
1. Banish distractions
If your child does not want to help you with the household chores, remove him from everything that distracts him. More than likely, this means that all screens must be turned off. Talk about this before. Ask him what he thinks is going on and what is preventing him from completing the tasks you have set him to do. Also find out what his plans are after he’s done, then motivate him to do his work so he can move on to what he enjoys more. Pay attention to his interests instead of explaining responsibilities or the duty to do some household things.
2. Set a time limit
A good way to get your child to take action is to set time limits. For example, to wash a few dishes in 15-20 minutes. If they don’t finish washing them in the given time, then bedtime will be earlier. In this way, it will associate a cost with procrastination. You could even use a timer with an alarm. The next day, you remind him what happened and that it must not be repeated, if he does not want to go to bed earlier again. Another option would be to reduce the time, to boost it. You could also offer him an incentive: if he finishes sooner, he can play his favorite game for 10-15 minutes longer.
3. Structure the household chores
Organization is essential when it comes to completing household tasks. A time should be set for them. During the school year, the evening is usually the best time for these, because the rest of the day adds to the stress of homework. In the summer, they can be done in the morning, when he has more energy. Before he wants to play, make it a house rule to make his bed, put his clothes and things in his room in order. In this way, he gets used to fulfilling his responsibilities before enjoying his free time. If he is not doing his chores because he is playing on the tablet, you need to intervene. They’d better understand that until the chores are done, they won’t be able to enjoy themselves. The alternative to doing one’s chores must be boredom, i.e. the lack of favorite activities.
All children in the family receive tasks at the same time, so that no one feels disadvantaged
4. Avoid using chores as punishment
The household tasks given to the child must not become consequences or punishments for negative behaviors. The goal is for him to learn that a chore is a fixed responsibility, no matter what happens. It could be a consequence in the case of a conflict between brothers. In order to get even with his brother or sister, if he upset them with something, he can choose to take over a job from them.
5. Approach a reward system
If you want your child to take on responsibilities at home, integrate household chores into a reward system. Put a chart on the fridge with his name and the tasks he chooses to do. If he makes his bed promptly and well, he gets a tick or a funny sticker. When it adds up to five, he gets a reward, such as staying up a little longer on a weekend night or doing something he likes a little more than usual. This type of system is motivational and less punitive.