The current pandemic affects us all, to a greater or lesser extent. Age is what makes us feel the effects of isolation differently. If for children and young people, it may seem like an extended vacation, with a less strict schedule, the same does not translate to the life of seniors.
With age, the pressure increases. The children and grandchildren no longer visit them, and the quarrels with the block neighbors only take place from door to door, but the health problems remain the same. So how do the elderly feel the isolation and what can we, the rest of us, do to help them? We invited clinical psychologist Florentina Niculescu, a psychotherapist at the MindCare Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Center within the Medlife Medical System, to help us with the answers to all our dilemmas on this topic.
The truth: Is isolation still the main threat to the elderly today? This, of course, is beyond unwanted contact with the virus itself, which is the number 1 danger for all of us, young and old. How can isolation be successfully combated?
Florentina Niculescu: By nature, we humans are social beings, which means that our connection with others allows us to develop, to thrive. What we are all experiencing today, the pandemic generated by COVID-19 is an extreme moment that requires extreme, largely unprecedented measures. From this point of view, physical distancing is an extreme measure. What can represent a threat, especially for the elderly, is the lack of social connection, which can lead to the deterioration of physical and mental health: heart disease, obesity, hypertension; cognitive decline, depression, anxiety, and even premature death. It is very important to understand the “biology of isolation”. As an internal feeling, the elderly experience the loss of the sense of connection, community, and communication. Or, in this situation, the perception of the world is completely changed, which will lead to changes in the immune system. The elderly need to feel useful, to have meaning and purpose, and then perhaps it would be appropriate for them to have small daily tasks. The time interval allocated to shopping not only invites physical activity but above all prevents the risks of cognitive deterioration. Choosing the right clothes for the weather outside, adapting to the requirements imposed by the state bodies, calculating the financial resources, then the quantities needed for the supply, are activities that put the healthy capacities of the elderly into operation. Patience, compassion, listening and dialogue can be the “lifeline” we can extend to the elderly during this period. To support this age group, clinics, NGOs, associations and other bodies have developed special volunteering programs. Clinics that also offer counseling services have special rates for the elderly; socio-cultural programs and medical-social services are adapted and meet the requirements of this age category.
Information taken from the media or from social networks is two of the habits that remained in force during the quarantine. But others have disappeared, such as the physical meeting with sons/daughters, close relatives or those we have known for a lifetime, with whom those over 65 had become accustomed to talking about their likes and dislikes. How can such “losses” be compensated by our parents and grandparents?
It is useful to distinguish between social isolation and loneliness. Social isolation is the physical – objective separation from other people. Loneliness, however, is the subjective inner experience of the reality of being alone, of being separated. We put “or” between the two words because there are people who experience a feeling of loneliness even when they are around other people or can live alone without feeling the feeling of loneliness. The feeling of loneliness was felt much stronger and deeper by our parents and grandparents during this period. There were two important factors that generated this feeling. First, the impossibility of meeting loved ones and then the impossibility of participating in religious services that generate a transgenerational transfer. Faith is a very powerful internal resource for many people. Of course, everyone understands and relates to faith in their own way and deserves to be respected as such. Being able to express yourself is important for this age group throughout this period. Keeping a constant connection through the phone, validating feelings and normalizing them are important. Yes, it’s normal to feel anger because we can’t go to church on Easter, yes, it’s normal to feel sadness because we can’t see our children and hug our grandchildren. Feelings are negotiable. They are not right or wrong, good or bad. Once discussed, much of the stress perceived by the absence of loved ones will be reduced. They will “feel” closer. Compassion and selfless love can lead to acceptance, understanding and respecting this state of isolation. We need more than ever to start encouraging resilient behavior for this age group and beyond. And this is a favorable moment, especially in view of the fact that the population of our country has a special characteristic, namely “resistance”, the ability to be present and to be aware of what we are experiencing, but especially of what can rebuild.
Fear is a natural state, found in all age categories. How does it manifest itself in old age? What must be done to keep it under control?
The third age comes with many physical, organic, systemic and psychological changes. The transition to another stage of life and the difficulty of accepting what we can no longer be generates a strong inner conflict. Physical strength, endurance, balance and reaction time are also affected by the aging process. Fears related to the disease appear more and more often, most often associated with the appearance of the fear of suffering. And the repeated living of experiences in which the elderly experience helplessness, make them more and more vulnerable. A risk associated with the appearance of fear is found in people who unexpectedly experience the death of their partner. Family members, friends and the doctor have an important role in transforming the behavior towards the disease, by improving the quality of life and recognizing the merits of the person’s professional activity. Throughout history, the Romanian people associated various expressions or old sayings with these experiences. These are full of understanding and meaning, and for us they represent a legacy of wealth, such as, for example, the expression “with hope, man does not die”. Encouraging the elderly towards activities that bring a state of joy and meaningful and productive activities leads to another meaning, to another goal, maintaining or improving cognitive function.
Does accepting a new daily routine work just as well for seniors, especially in the special conditions we are experiencing from mid-March onwards?
Florentina Niculescu: Brain plasticity plays an essential role in our capacity for individual transformation. Thanks to clinical studies carried out in recent years and referring to neuroplasticity, we know today that we can introduce new daily routines into everyday life, the brain having the ability to constantly change when exposed to new situations. The risks of cognitive impairment can be reduced with the help of physical activities, such as cleaning the house, completing crossword puzzles or games based on mathematical calculations, reading stories on the phone to grandchildren.
How should the other age groups behave in relation to the seniors, under quarantine conditions? Should he double the dose of authority in his tone when talking to his parents and grandparents, or on the contrary, should he double his “hyperprotection” towards them?
The forced change of social behavior followed by prolonged isolation can affect the mental health of people in many ways, regardless of age. For the elderly, practical and emotional support is indicated by sharing simple facts about what is happening and how they can protect themselves. We must be aware that the elderly and/or those with cognitive decline can become more anxious, angry, stressed or even withdrawn. It is important to modulate the tone of voice in discussions with the elderly, as it is also important that they, the elderly, feel the emotional availability of the caregivers or the people they live with.
How much can modern technology help us in our relationship with our parents and grandparents? Can he be an important ally?
I mentioned above about studies in the field of neuroplasticity. These, together with the neuroscience of altruism, prove that any form of mental training leads to a reconfiguration in the brain, both functionally and structurally. We encourage adults who have experience and skills in the use of technology to come to the aid of the elderly and explain to them the benefits of modern technology. Digital sociability will prove to be an important ally, now and in the future. For the elderly, this new behavioral pattern is difficult, but, be careful, difficult does not mean impossible.
How do you think the measure of the last two months regarding the limited access to the street of those over 65 was perceived even by those who were targeted by this decision? What about the news that after May 15, things will relax?
The most difficult aspect that people over 65 faced during this period was the limited access to the streets and social distancing. Accumulated, they led to experiencing strong feelings of abandonment, of uselessness. The way of reacting to stressful situations is different from person to person, and the emotional reactions to coming out of isolation can also be different. Elderly people may feel a state of relief after this period or fear and concern for their own health and the health of their loved ones. Other people may experience feelings of sadness, anger or frustration, guilt of not being able to perform a normal job or parent/grandparent role during isolation.
The threat of this pandemic will continue to affect our lives beyond May 15. What should we pay attention to, especially for the elderly?
For a healthy society, it would be desirable to find ways to include all age segments. Let’s not forget that the third age also brings with it something good. The Swiss philosopher Henri-Frederic Amiel once said that “Knowing how to grow old is a masterpiece of wisdom and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living”. We should not ignore the difficulties of the elderly. They need validation and our recognition of the things that hurt, physically or emotionally.The role we have in the relationship with the elderly, as a child, grandchild or caregiver at home, cannot change their pain, but it helps them to be grateful every day to- and improve their lives and to alleviate their suffering.Gratitude helps people feel positive emotions, enjoy good experiences, to improve their health and thus face adversity. And all this can have lasting effects on our lives. The benefit is for both parties, both the elderly and the caregiver. Expert research has shown that cultivating a gratitude practice in your daily life increases your sense of well-being, happiness and improves your health. Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins are released through expressions of gratitude towards parents/grandparents or other people, so that we will all be able to experience more joy and pleasure. Expert research has shown that cultivating a gratitude practice in your daily life increases your sense of well-being, happiness and improves your health. Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins are released through expressions of gratitude towards parents/grandparents or other people, so that we will all be able to experience more joy and pleasure. Expert research has shown that cultivating a gratitude practice in your daily life increases your sense of well-being, happiness and improves your health. Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins are released through expressions of gratitude towards parents/grandparents or other people, so that we will all be able to experience more joy and pleasure.
With age, the pressure increases. The children and grandchildren no longer visit them, the quarrels with the block neighbors only take place from door to door, but the health problems remain the same. So how do the elderly feel the isolation and what can we, the rest of us, do to help them? We invited clinical psychologist Florentina Niculescu, psychotherapist at the MindCare Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Center within the Medlife Medical System, to help us with the answers to all our dilemmas on this topic. The truth: Is isolation still the main threat to the elderly today? This, of course, beyond unwanted contact with the virus itself, which is the number 1 danger for all of us, young and old. How can isolation be successfully combated? Florentina Niculescu: By nature, we humans are social beings, which means that our connection with others allows us to develop, to prosper. What we are all experiencing today, the pandemic generated by COVID 19, is an extreme moment that requires extreme, largely unprecedented measures. From this point of view, physical distancing is an extreme measure. What can represent a threat, especially for the elderly, is the lack of social connection, which can lead to the deterioration of physical and mental health: heart disease, obesity, hypertension; cognitive decline, depression, anxiety and even premature death. It is very important to understand the “biology of isolation”. As an internal feeling, the elderly experience the loss of the sense of connection, community and communication. However, in this situation the perception of the world is completely changed, which will lead to changes in the immune system. The elderly need to feel useful, to have meaning and purpose, and then perhaps it would be appropriate for them to have small daily tasks. The time interval allocated to shopping not only invites physical activity, but above all prevents the risks of cognitive deterioration. Choosing the right clothes for the weather outside, adapting to the requirements imposed by the state bodies, calculating the financial resources, then the quantities needed for the supply, are activities that put the healthy capacities of the elderly into operation. Patience, compassion, listening and dialogue can be the “lifeline” we can extend to the elderly during this period. To support this age group, clinics, NGOs, associations and other bodies have developed special volunteer programs. Clinics that also offer counseling services have special rates for the elderly; socio-cultural programs and medical-social services are adapted and meet the requirements of this age category. The truth: Information taken from the media or from social networks are two of the habits that remained in force during the quarantine. But others have disappeared, such as the physical meeting with sons/daughters, close relatives or those we have known for a lifetime, with whom those over 65 had become accustomed to talking about their likes and dislikes. How can such “losses” be compensated by our parents and grandparents? Florentina Niculescu: It is useful to distinguish between social isolation and loneliness. Social isolation is the physical – objective separation from other people. Loneliness, however, is the subjective inner experience of the reality of being alone, of being separated. We put “or” between the two words because there are people who experience a feeling of loneliness even when they are around other people or can live alone without feeling the feeling of loneliness. The feeling of loneliness was felt much stronger and deeper by our parents and grandparents during this period. There were two important factors that generated this feeling. First, the impossibility of meeting loved ones and then the impossibility of participating in religious services that generate transgenerational transfer. Faith is a very powerful internal resource for many people. Of course, everyone understands and relates to faith in their own way and deserves to be respected as such. Being able to express yourself is important for this age group throughout this period. Keeping a constant connection through the phone, validating feelings and normalizing them are important. Yes, it’s normal to feel anger because we can’t go to church on Easter, yes, it’s normal to feel sadness because we can’t see our children and hug our grandchildren. Feelings are negotiable. They are not right or wrong, good or bad. Once discussed, much of the stress perceived by the absence of loved ones will be reduced. They will “feel” closer. Compassion and selfless love can lead to acceptance, understanding and respect for this state of isolation. We need more than ever to start encouraging resilient behavior for this age group and beyond. And this is a favorable moment, especially in view of the fact that the population of our country has a special characteristic, namely “resistance”, the ability to be present and to be aware of what we are experiencing, but especially of what can rebuild.
