Does your daughter, who is no longer a child, have days when she talks civilly to you and days when she snaps at you? Does she have moments when she smiles and tells you what she did at school and days where she sulks and bursts into tears if you make the slightest observation? Specialists say there is nothing abnormal, given the changes she goes through on her way to adulthood.
The brain changes throughout life, but there are certain moments when it makes huge leaps. After leaving childhood, the young woman’s brain acquires a much greater processing power, she begins to have skills for solving dilemmas, but above all this, the power of emotions stands. The part of the brain responsible for emotions and the formation of memories changes enormously during puberty.
Considering that your daughter is going through huge hormonal changes at the same time, the new state will be confusing for her: she has moments of anger, aggression towards herself or you as parents, she starts to feel physical attraction to various people. Even now, young women face the first sensations of social anxiety, wondering what other people think of them and going through difficult times if they feel that they do not live up to society’s standards.
Felicity Brooks, teacher and author of books for young people, points out that: “The part of the brain responsible for emotions develops before the part responsible for matters such as planning, decision-making and understanding the emotions of others. It’s no surprise, then, that teenagers have strong feelings, but sometimes find it hard to think through the consequences or understand the effect their actions have on others.” (the volume “How do girls grow?”, Curtea Veche Publishing)
What can you do as a parent? Listen to your daughter, be patient with her moods and try, as much as possible, an assertive approach. Do not attack her, try to have a calm and effective communication with her, avoiding to speak to her with superiority. Be empathetic and give him honest examples from your own youth, tell him how you felt in your relationship with your parents and how you overcame certain delicate moments. It is important that she sees in you a person who understands her, not one who judges her and forbids certain actions without explanation.