Talk to him openly
Sometimes, the child may be mature enough to understand the reasons for the parents’ separation. But at other times, the teenager can withdraw into himself, refuse to talk, have sleep disorders or is no longer interested in school.
So, try to talk to him as openly as possible and tell him what will happen. Encourage him to talk about his feelings and any fears about the divorce. Open discussions can help him get over your breakup more easily.
Don’t let him get alienated
The child may feel guilty for the failure of the parents’ marriage and thus will try to distance himself from them. Therefore, there is a risk of running away from home or joining a group of friends that are not exactly to your liking. In this way, the teenager tries to “take revenge” for his suffering, believing that only those of his age can understand him.
You can also read:
– 3 mistakes that divorced parents make
– Don’t make the child suffer in the divorce
– Divorce can also affect the child
No arguments in front of him!
Throughout the divorce, it is recommended that both parents talk to the child as much as possible. However, if he doesn’t want to talk, don’t pressurize him with questions and avoid scolding him.
The teenager must feel the affection of both parents and not alienate himself from grandparents, schoolmates or the group of friends. Avoid arguing in his presence and, if he is in the care of one of you, do not take him away from the other parent.
Don’t look for the culprit
It is possible that some children with divorced parents feel different and somewhat “incomplete” compared to other children their age, which can turn into a real frustration. Therefore, it is possible that they form a wrong view of marriage.
It is good to tell the teenager that sometimes separation is inevitable. And if it happens, it is in no way the children’s fault. It is also possible that, after the divorce, the teenager feels more “free”.
Gradually give him the confidence he needs, but don’t rule out discreet control over his life. This way you make sure that he won’t do excesses of any kind, plus you eliminate the risk of him feeling abandoned.
Parents even after divorce
It is not easy for a teenager to accept that his life will suddenly change. So it is important that you both make him understand that you will still be his mother and father, even if you break up. Thus, things will proceed normally, he will benefit from love and affection from both parents.
If the young person becomes too depressed, it is good to ask for the help of a psychologist. He can entrust his problems to a specialist and will receive advice on how he should proceed.
Gabriela Ianculescu, psychologist, psychotherapist
It is believed that teenagers are more prepared, unlike children, to get over their parents’ divorce, but the situations differ depending on the case. Their intense lives can even lead to psychosomatic illnesses.
Some teenagers can more easily overcome the separation of their parents, even if this involves difficulties related to the change of residence, school and group of friends. Others may be affected in the long term, requiring the intervention of a psychologist. Parents must listen to the teenager, without judging his experiences and feelings.